Modern society is giving more importance to parenting styles, which represents the different approaches parents use to raise their children. Many people wonder about how to be a good parent. Although all of us are trained as Engineers, Doctors, lawyers, bakers etc., but no one is trained to become parents even though parenting is one of our most important and consistent job. In addition, as parents we have a vision of what we want our child to be like. We try to do everything possible so that our desires get fulfilled. We interact and help our kid’s day in and day out to grow. We take many conscious decision and cut our corner to offer every facility we could afford. However, do we know we also exert enormous influence over the development of our children, especially after children enter school. To influence positively we must recognize that kids come into the world with their own temperaments, and it is the parents' job to provide a platform that eventually prepares a child for complete independence.
Knowing when to worry is also another dilemma we struggle with. Should I worry when my 2-year-old refuses to go to school? When my 7-year-old is not doing his homework? When my 9-year-old hits her schoolmate? When my 12-year-old becomes obsessed with fitness and diet? When my 15-year-old hiding the truth? There are many that can be added to this list. All these daily dilemmas certainly impact the lives of children, but what counts most is the overall style and attitude of parents towards parenting.
If you think parenting is difficult, it is also challenging to be a child in today's world. Researchers have found that children are more impulsive, disobedient, lonely, sad, irritable, and violent than ever before. Parenting is not a one-sided activity; it's a dynamic, interactive situation, and children also have styles or temperaments that in turn affect their parents' styles of interactions.
In a rapidly changing world, parenting seems to changing styles. But the needs of child development as delineated by science remain relatively stable. There are four major recognized parenting styles: Indulgent, Uninvolved, Authoritarian and Consultant/ authoritative. Each one carries different characteristics and brings about different reactions in the children which they are used on. If the parenting aims at too much perfection, the research has shown that the ability to cope up with setbacks is weak in these children. Whereas too little engagement with kids or harshness leads to poor behavioral outcomes. It is important to keep in mind that every parent child relationship is different, so there is not one sure fire way to go about parenting. But many researchers have the agreement that consultant/authoritative parenting style helps to raise a happy, responsible, productive member of society.
Dr. Itishree Misra is a Clinical Psychologist and a Career Counselor. She has close to 2 decades of experience in academia and industry. Dr. Misra has been recognized widely for her work in the field for education and psychometrics. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org